I left a job with a stable paycheck and decent insurance for me and my family. Insanity for some but a necessity for me.
I knew for a while that I wasn't happy. I woke up everyday hating the fact that I had to go to work. Driving to work with stomach ulcers and knowing the day wasn't going to get better. I could go on about the lack of support at my job but that was just a piece that led to my unhappiness. I tried to hold out because of the steady paycheck and insurance. I even stuck it out for two years longer than I should have. In truth, I should have quit years ago. Unfortunately, I did what everyone else does, I ignored my heart and listened to my ego and family/peers.
This job became my "golden handcuffs". I borrowed this term from my cousin who used to work as a psychologist in a jail. Working in the jail had rewards like a nice paycheck but it also had its downfalls. Workers became unhappy but stayed because of the pay and benefits. Hence, the term "golden handcuffs".
Once day, I started to talk about wanting another career with my co-workers. Immediately, words like "you're not qualified to do anything else", "is there even money in that field", and "no one will hire you" all came out of my co-workers' and peers' mouths. My ego was even agreeing with them. Yet, my heat was trying its hardest to get me to listen.
I realized one day that I would never be happy in my stable job. I took a leap of faith and quit. Fear immediately seized control of me and my ego yelled, "what did you do"? I think I stopped breathing for a few seconds. Fear paralyzed me. That's when my heart took control and smacked my ego "upside its head".
I took a step back from my present situation, took a breath, and realized that I was happy and free. All the burdens and disappointments that I have carried lifted from my shoulders. I was instantly light. The song, "Don't Worry, Be Happy" ran through my head. I had found the courage to remove my "golden handcuffs". I was now able to create a life with a job that makes me happy every day.
Robin Williams said it best. "People should listen to their hearts. But they ask their families, friends and therapists: Should I get married? Buy this house? Coffee or tea? Stay in your heart at all times, it's mandatory. It's always with you. Life is just a series of plays, and the heart is at the beginning and the end of the act. You know what you want. Go with the feel of your heart."
Do I know where and when my next paycheck will be? No. Will I find a way to make sure my bills are paid? Yes. My ego can rest easy. My current job is unstable at times and very stable at others. Yet, I'm loving every minute. My heart is finally happy.
